I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize