exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I take back everything I said about communal showers
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
