you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
