But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
