Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
well, you know. whores of a feather.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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