the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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