have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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