I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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