I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we made out on top of his cat.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
