Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
