you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
