The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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