So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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