When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
