I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
