D3 body, D1 cock
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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