Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
