The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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