So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
