You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
