There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
