Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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