now i know why i became what i already was.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
