I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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