yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
