he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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