please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize