How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
