Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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