new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
