Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
