yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
