I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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