Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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