No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
