You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
