I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
