i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom