i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
