Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through