You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.