When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
