Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
