her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
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If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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