Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
