I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
