so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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