yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
