just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
