He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
