I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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