I need to stop coming to work sober
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team