coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.