Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
