my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
