I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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