Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
