he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
zippers are such a cool invention
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
