look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
