So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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