yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
