She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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