zippers are such a cool invention
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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