My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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