He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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