just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
