there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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